Now time for some ice cream

So I was laying in bed and I couldn’t fall asleep and I thought to myself, “I am tired and I can sleep in a just a little bit tomorrow so I think I’ll get up”, and thats what I did. I was thinking about how applying for employment at other place is going, or not going for me. I feel that its not going places for a lot of people though. Maybe thats just the media combined with people that I know and talk to. I have applied to one job this week and I’ve already heard back from them that they are not interested in hiring me. Its also the company that currently employes me. Funny thing is that I thought I was really qualified for that position, being a person who constantly asks himself who orders this crap we get in our stores? And, have these people ever worked in one of our stores and knows the kind of people who shop with us? Regardless I will continue to apply. I’ve likened it to just another school project that I have 8 or 9 weeks to complete, doing a little bit of the work each week, tailoring what employers want to hear to the experience that I have to offer in order to be considered.

I have also thought about how its about marketing yourself. Coming up with ideas and words that are bigger than the job you actually have and the functions that you carry out just so that you can get your foot in the door and how the interviewer that your worth being interested in. One thing is that I’m not discouraged. I know that a lot of people are in far worse employment positions that I am, and its not like I’m going to lose my job come March of next year. I know that I have about 6.5 months left at this pay and I think like a lot of people at where I work they are either planning to be promoted, gonna take the pay cut and just give less work or they are going to find another company to work for. I’ve been more up beat at work actually just for the simple fact that I’ve really done my best at finding other work, and while it hasn’t been successful for me yet I know that it eventually it will be.

The weeks have been made quicker by going back to running full time. Its hard to believe that its already going to be Thursday and I’ve run 22 miles this week. It will be 34 by the time the weeks is over and of course I’m going to take the weekend off.

I’m tired now but I feel like my body is over heating from running earlier today. Its either that or its just still warm out, and there is very rarely a breeze or any wind here in Whittier. Heck, there isn’t much weather except for hot since I’ve lived here. There has either been hot, or less hot with some cloud cover. I still tell myself that at least I don’t have to fight a half a million other people in Long Beach for anything. That in Whittier when I live to go to the store my parking spot will still be here and there are good odds that I won’t be asked for change before I enter the market and also when I leave. I was in Long Beach at a gas station this evening, and just for 5 minute a guy stopped and asked me for change. Of course I wasn’t the only one, but it just one of those moments that reminded me what it is like to both live and work in that city. It wears on you.

I came to the realization the other day that I’m probably never ever going to move out of the Los Angeles region. I couldn’t for the women that I married three years ago and I find myself in a situation of which the person who I live with is not big on the idea and it would probably prevent it all costs. So what I thought to myself so that you can only move for yourself. I just get bored living in southern California. I lived here for almost my whole life and while millions of people from all over the world come here to enjoy what I’ve grown up with my mind just gets numb with everything that is offered and wouldn’t mind both a slower more open pace of life but one that isn’t so far away from the city I can’t visit when I want to. Currently I find myself in the zoo with all of the other cages animals who when they drive 5 or 6 hours to the east, north or any direction really will a whole different life style and world than the one that is Los Angeles.

Now time for some ice cream.

Just Passing The Time

Of course tonight is the first of 7 times that I will drive the 605 south into Long Beach to go to work at Walgreens. There have been times when I have called this place hell and meant it but I have discovered that looking for other work while being employed takes the edge off of being employed in the first place. Maybe its just me. I’ve spoken to other people who work with me at this store, a lot of us are looking for new work no matter how good things are at this company. We all have stories of how this company used to be very family oriented feeling, that although it was/is now America largest pharmacy chain we saw the caring from it. But thats no longer. Forget about those stories. I’ve taken to approaching working at this store day to day and that is dictated by the customer that we get inside of it daily.

Tonight seemed very mellow. Like a calm before the storm kind of feeling. I did what I could looking at the long picture that I will there for another 6 days and treated today like a warm up for the rest of the time. To me its odd to think that you can spend so many hours inside of a retail store, but I guess with all of things that we have to do the time just evaporates. I know that if I were to list everything that I did day to day that it would be at least a page worth. There are plenty of things that the bosses don’t write down that when they happen at the store you have to deal with. I’d get into that but why relive it?

Its been very hot the past couple of days, into the 90’s and 100’s. Now that I’m back to running, or trying to run 5 days a week on a bad right foot I’m noticing the stuffiness of the air. I’m still weighing the pro and the con of living in Whittier. We do live very close to downtown Whittier which is nice, and it is clean when in comparison to Long Beach. Also, there are only a couple of bums compared to our former town. Do I miss running on the beach path with all of the people, of course. I could run at at least 6 miles without having to be worried about being hit by a car. Not to mention the sea breeze and seeing the Queen Mary was nice, but once you live in a place like that the bad was eventually going to outweigh the good.

I’m thankful for living here because I can go see the rest of the people I know that live in southern California so much more easier. My work is only 23 miles away too. Its just that 605, to the 105 to the 710 can be a grind on a bad day. Today was a good one and it only took 30 minutes which was nice. I’ve applied for a handful of jobs within the last week and I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Over the past month things have been decent. Now that my brother has moved on from living with us, school is almost back in full swing and we will be getting into the winter months. I do still think about you on occasion. We would have roughly been living back there for two years with our third anniversary would have just passed. There is a great chance that life would be very different for the both of us. Lately I’ve been searching through my heart looking at the last five and ten years. I’m come to the conclusion that I’ve passed up on some of my life great opportunities to be happy with some amazing people. I couldn’t give you an answer, at least not a complete one that you would fully understand. This is the part where I get lost because there is nothing that I can do to change any of this. I actually enjoy the life that I have now. Since the last time that you heard from me and since there was no response to what I wrote I’ve figured that you are 100% done all of this, and that you’ve moved as far as you can away from me. Although, I always figured that you and my sister would be best friends for life.